Dear Jayne

Sometimes I write fake letters. For fun, or something.

Drunk, and writing this to you instead of my journal, which is probably a mistake but I guess I can always read this in the morning. I don't know, but either way words are qued up at the tip of my pen and it is best to get them going as soon as possible. I was thinking about the sun and how much I'd like to see it close up. If I ever found out I had a terminal illness I'd steal a spaceship and fly into the sun. Cremation and spaceflight all in one package--very appealing, no? I feel the need to write as quickly as possible, while my fingers still tingle, to capture the precise nature of this state of mind. This is all non-sense, but at the same time it's all that I am--words and ink and flesh and bone and hair. Naked, cold, hungry. I'm not sure I have a firm grasp on vocabulary now, but the first sentence of this page should be a reasonable excuse. Strike now, while the iron is hot! When we die we will exist in ink and paper--a history of thought and intention. Everything sounds epic when you're inebriated and I apologize for the grandiose ramblings of this letter. But as I said, I'm ink and paper and intention and can't be held responsible for late-night self-expression, can I? Not sure...if it were raining I'm sure I'd feel even more introspective ----- I think it is important not to censor yourself. I feel like the more I ramble the closer get to some truth, unknown or obscured by my conscious mind. Stoner poetry, for sure, but I'm not stoned I'm just tired and full of echoes or shadows or reverberations of former lives. Strike while the iron is hot! Capture these ghosts and spectres and imprison them on a page within an ink cell. Midnight cats make the night easier, their calm demeanor's are comforting, soothing. But I will not be soothed. I will rage on into the depths of the night content with the absence of others. The more/higher walls I can build the better. Now I'm just being ridiculous. I should go now--sleep--dream about things more exciting than reality, which isn't too hard. Really all I need is a flying car.